All in My story

Two months ago I became a father. I didn't feel ready. It’s to be expected - a mix of wanting to be prepared for everything and knowing I couldn’t be. When I held my son for the first time, I had a deep sense of joy that counteracted my overwhelming worry. I constantly feared for his safety and wellbeing. Overshadowing all of these fears were larger questions of my own abilities - my own worthiness of this title of father. Could I set a good example? Could I get better before he needs me to be better?

If you have heard my story or listened to the podcast from the last post, you know the role my parents played in shaping my values. Many of my decisions were driven by the desire to repay them for their sacrifice — cutting family ties to come to America and working incredibly hard so their children were better off. They exemplified the immigrant success story. It was a story I never forgot. Both because I heard it from my father every year, but also because it is the reason I have the opportunities I do today.

I entered college with a clear strategy. I would run track and cross country while balancing a rigorous biomedical engineering and premedical courseload. I would make time to develop a robust network of friends, maybe learn some new languages and explore the city of Boston. Somehow four years later, after stopping athletics for dance, quitting engineering for science, and having doubts if medical school was the right path, I was wondering what any of my previous planning had accomplished.